In our latest blog post, Parent Coach Peggy Gomula shares her top tip for building stronger relationships with your children. For her, it all boils down to staying calm. Read her advice below.
I believe that staying calm is the single most important thing parents can do for their children. Pretty big statement – I know. But having lived through raising three children, and for a long time not staying calm, I can tell you with complete honesty that staying calm saved my relationship with them. And I know this for a fact because my eldest daughter has told me so!
When we lose our tempers, we scare our children – not just because we are loud and angry, but also because suddenly they don’t know who is in charge. If we “lose it”, our children figure that we are out of control (which we are) and if we are out of control, then there is no one in charge. Being a child and having no one in charge is a very scary feeling and it can lead to some very big emotions.
Before I learned how to control my anxieties, my eldest and I use to argue all the time – about things both big and small. I could say that our relationship was at a low point, but I honestly don’t think that we even had a relationship.
Once I learned that losing my temper was MY problem, I constantly practiced staying calm. The arguments became fewer and fewer and we started to form a relationship; a relationship that has brought us closer every year, and a relationship that continues to grow. Today, I have wonderful relationships with all three of my children. In fact, they all live within fifteen minutes of me. I know that the reason is because I learned and practiced how to stay calm. I treasure these relationships immensely, because I know how close I came to losing them.
So…practice, practice, practice staying calm. Keep practicing and soon you will see your patience muscles growing stronger. If you do the work and keep practicing, I promise the rewards will be amazing!
If you would like some strategies on how to stay calm or more information on how to parent a child with ADHD, call the center and schedule a consultation appointment with one of our parent coaches. We would love to learn more about you and your family and help you on the road to a calm and fun relationship with your child or children.
Have some fun today!
Peggy is a PCI Certified Parent Coach who is committed to helping parents understand the gifts of ADHD, unlock its potential, and raise their children in a fun, calm, and connected household.