“Having a child with ADHD is the most difficult thing you will ever have to deal with, because it never ends. Every single day is an exercise in patience (or lack thereof) and forgiveness (you trying to forgive yourself for lack of patience!).”
I don’t know the person who wrote the quote today, but I do understand what she is trying to say. Raising a child who has ADHD is not easy and it takes an enormous amount of patience. The hardest part is that, being human, we are going to lose that patience, and when we do, we have a tendency to be really hard on ourselves. We beat ourselves up because we know, deep in our hearts, that it is the ADHD we are losing our patience with, and not our child. But it is the child who takes the brunt of our actions.
My “witch on a broomstick” phase was a very long time of lack of patience. It has taken me many years to forgive myself for being so harsh with my children and for not understanding what was really happening. And, if I am honest, there are still days that I look back, cringe, and feel guilty. Those days are getting fewer and fewer as I see my children growing up and being okay with me and forgiving me. The best part is that I think that they may have even learned some very important things from me. There is something to be said about learning how NOT to do something!
So…if on any particular day, for whatever reason, you find yourself with a lack of patience with your child who has ADHD, please understand that you are not alone. Please realize that everyone makes mistakes, and forgive yourself. Then let it go and start a new day with good intentions to do your best: not to be perfect – just to do your best.
Have some fun today!
Peggy is a PCI Certified Parent Coach at the Hallowell Todaro ADHD Center. In addition to providing private and group parent coaching, as of February 2019, she will also be leading a monthly drop-in parent support group for families impacted by ADHD.